The New Year

The say to let bygones be bygones, but if we give that kind of freedom to a robot alien race they’ll take over our fuckin’ planet.

2008 – Looking Back

You can lead a horse to water, but its not as lubricating as you might think.

Christmas Morning

If a strap-on is considered a toy, then what happened to my Voltron when I was six?  Daddy?

Porno Films

Doing a non-sex role in a porno film is like paying a hooker to appraise your house. 

Silent Night, Holy Night

Religion is about more than filling the empty holes in a young man’s life, its about praying to sweet jesus he keeps his goddam mouth shut afterwards.

My Man Friday

If you ever take a job as a Man Friday in Thailand, make absolutely sure you know what a Man Friday in Thailand does.

Dogs

If a woman wants to have sex with a dog, that’s her right, its her body….if she wants to videotape it, she’s just a show off. 

Judaism

No Jewish man is foolish enough to put his two cents in while only getting a penny for his thoughts in return.

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey, and that’s as good a reason as any to try eating ass.

It Takes a Village

It takes a village to raise a child, but it only takes a child one match to burn the village to the fucking ground.